When is it over?

Funerals are... what are funerals? really? is it for the deceased? or for the leftovers? After attending my Grandma's funeral this week I have been thinking about death more than usual.. (obviously).. My family knew she was going to pass away... just like we all know that someday we are going to die. so.. why is everyone so unprepared for death? We live like we will live forever.. And we live like our loved ones will live forever by our side. But life really is fragile...

This past week has been filled with thoughts.. I know this is said often.. but live like today is your last.. I have heard that so many times that I think i lost the meaning of it...

I know scientifically that my family will someday die.. and i know that all of my friends will die.. just as mother nature should have it... but do i really comprehend that I don't know when they will die? Not until recently... Today might be the last day of my life.. I could be gone tomorrow.. What will you regret? And if you died tomorrow... what will i regret? I couldn't bear another death right now.. I need to get over so much regret as it is... So... I'm going to try, once again to live like tomorrow is your last... all of you... or... tomorrow is my last...

And should tomorrow be my last.... smile! have a good time.. i wouldn't want it any other way... celebrate death! And should you die before me, i'm going to celebrate your death. Of all the religious hodge-podge out there, with the combination of my uncertainty for any of it, I believe that if you want a heavenly afterlife, you will have it. Don't let guilt run/ruin your life

Song for my funeral: Sigur Ros - Saeglopur (this song could be viewed as being a really sad song.. or a really happy song... I want it to be heard as a happy song.. )

Love Ash